Harbinger of Death

Another fun filled family extravaganza. We had Thanksgiving over at the Baron's mother's house. It went fine. There's always plenty of food, plenty of laughter, lots of family, and many bottles of wine.

But the Baron's family has one tiny little quirk. They don't talk about bad stuff. Ever. They don't acknowledge a lot of things, and prefer to ignore the elephant pooping in the corner of the room. You all know me. I have no filter. Pour a few glasses of wine in me, and it's like truth serum.

This leads to a lot of uncomfortable moments. Particularly with Auntie C. I love Auntie C - she's kind, sweet, caring, and very sensitive. But the family really only gets together for holidays, so Auntie C, her husband Uncle E, and their kids get left out of the loop during the year.

You see where this is going, right? Me in tears at Easter 3 years ago telling her that we had lost our first baby, BT. Me in tears at Thanksgiving 2 years ago when she said how good I looked for 6 months pregnant, explaining that we had lost our second baby, MP a few weeks before. Her in tears this past Easter, when I explained to her that the Baron's father passed away a few months before (while everyone else cleared out of the kitchen, I was left consoling her).

And today. Explaining that we had to leave early because we have a long day ahead of us tomorrow helping my Mom move out of the house. The second I said it, I saw the look on Auntie C's face. She looked confused. She wanted to ask why my Mom was moving. But history has taught her not to ask me the tough questions, even though it was killing her.

For the first time in my life, I took the easy way out. I put on my coat and refused to make eye contact. I wasn't going to be the one to tell her anymore bad news. I couldn't do it. I watched her corner my Mother in law in another room a few minutes later and ask her.

Nothing like a family holiday to once again make me feel The Harbinger of Death.

Nevermore! kaw, kaw