My wife went to India and all I got was this lousy god...

Sorry Baron, had to be done. The thought cracked me up. Why don't they sell t-shirts that say that?

Today we knocked off work 1/2 hour early to go do some shopping. What an experience! I'm so not used to bargaining, and doing it in a mall? A mall, normal mall stores where you could haggle the price. Not sure where this post is going - but, yes I finally did some shopping. If I didn't get you a present, I'm sorry, I was overwhelmed by it all. I tried to remember those I promised gifts to, but I didn't have my list. Here's the loot...

I remembered family, the Partners in Crime and their kids, Ms. Fabulous and the Fabulous Girls, Baron, a couple of things for me (although I want it all!), and a few very small tchokes. I could have shopped for days, but haggling starts to wear you down after a very short period of time, so my apologies if you don't get something amazing. I ran out of time, money, and stamina! I wish I had bought presents for everyone I care about. Ugh, it's like Christmas, I want to buy something for everyone, but there's got to be a limit somewhere.

All I could think about on the ride back to the hotel was ordering up some room service. I've eaten nothing but Indian food for a week (gladly and without hesitation) and my American sensibilities finally took over...

Fries and beer baby!!! Of course the hotel room service mgr convinced me I couldn't have just that, so he sent bread and broth with it. Didn't touch it, wanted fries and beer! If there was just basketball on my night would be complete. I'm such a delicate flower.

Going to try to head to bed before midnight tonight. Ms. Fabulous, if you're reading - stop trying to pick out which presents are yours!!!!!

You know, the one with the arms...

If you're easily offended, please stop reading now. I know it's wrong. But it's funny.

A long, long, time ago... I was in a knowledge transfer session to train offshore developers for a week with one of my dearest friends, Chey. We were younger then, and trying to figure out our place in the corporate world. Most of the other people attending were mid level managers, and we were trying to be on our best behavior, dressing professionally, not making waves, being good little do-bees.

We had just completed a session on cultural sensitivity. We're outside having a smoke, talking about our fascination and admiration of Indian culture... and I couldn't remember the name of a Hindu god. I started waving my arms around and saying, "You know, the one with the arms".

Chey stared at me in horror, and said "Oh my god, that's like walking up to a Christian and saying you know, this guy", tilting her head to the side, arms raised as if on a cross, and with her feet criss crossed, and tongue sticking out (not exactly the crucifix they had hanging in catholic school, but a pretty good resemblance). I still can't think about it without my spewing laughter. You know, this guy!

Not one of my more politically correct moments, but you have to picture the two of us trying so hard to be professional, wearing our best corporate wear...imitating various gods and religions in the parking lot.

Anyway, tomorrow we're going shopping at Leela Palace. How do I tell our very sweet, kind, hospitable host that what I really need to find is a little statue of a Hindu god - because it's funny. Not the statue, not the religion, but the memory of the two goofballs who are pushing forty but still acting like idiots the second The Man has his back turned?

A few more pics

http://s69.photobucket.com/albums/i60/mattimoosh/Sunday%20in%20India/

Look, Cow!

It's now Sunday morning and of course I'm wide awake at 7:00AM. I didn't fall asleep until 1:00, and six hours later I'm bright eyed and bushy tailed. But it's getting better, 6 hours sleep instead of 4 or 5!

Before I give a full run down of Saturday in Mysore, I'd like to overshare for a minute (c'mon, you're all used to it from me). Everyone is very concerned about having Traveler's Stomach issues if they visit a country like India. What almost no one will tell you is that between the different food, lack of sleep, body adjustment, the issue is the exact opposite what you expect. Thank you, thank you, and thank you - Captain's Wife warned me of this, and I packed medication to deal with just such an issue. Of course I didn't want to take it for the first two days, because I refuse to use public restrooms. And a public restroom in a foreign country? Nope, never happen. Never. Anyway...knowing that we had Sunday to rest and relax with no plans, I took my Ambien to try to get a full night's sleep, and then I took my Colace.

Then the full horror of what I had just done sank in. I took Ambien and Colace at the same time. OMG!!!! What was I thinking??? I briefly considered inducing vomiting, but I decided to live on the wild side - because I really need to sleep, and I really need to poop. That was the Ambien talking "Eh, what's the worse thing that could happen - are there any cookies in this room?". Luckily there were no ill side effects, but I really need to be careful on Ambien - smart choices are not made, even on only half a pill.

Yesterday we had breakfast in the hotel, and then headed out to Mysore with two of our offshore coworkers that graciously volunteered to be hosts and guides for the day. What a way to travel - having travel companions that are local show you the ropes is quite the experience. They keep you from overpaying, make sure you stay in only neighborhoods, direct the driver, and show you the best places to eat, as well as make suggestions on things you have to try.

Mysore is about 2.5 hours from the hotel in Bangalore. I don't have nearly the number of pictures I would like - they don't let you take a camera inside the palace - and they have you check it at the gate of the grounds. The palace is surrounded by gardens and Hindu temples. Fun fact - shoes and socks aren't allowed in the palace (or the temples). You have to check your shoes at a stand outside the palace. I really wish I had taken the time to get a pedicure before traveling. I can't possibly do justice to the history or description of the palace, but I found their website. http://www.mysorepalace.in/mysore_palace.htm. The pictures of all of the cows were taken at Chamundi Hills, and the temple at the top http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chamundi_hills

So what about the cows? Why are there so many pictures of them?

Because there are cows roaming around everywhere! I don't mean in picturesque little pastures in the outskirts of cities, I mean everywhere... in the streets, parking lots, on the grass medians and sidewalks in the city of Bangalore (a city of approx. 8 million people). Cows. And they're brazen beasts... the picture above was taken at the temple at Chamundi Hills. Outside the temple they sell little baskets filled with items for offering to the goddess Chamundeeswari. The baskets have coconut, flowers, and bananas. Apparently cows like bananas, this guy was climbing up the steps to get to and offering basket that was unattended. Yes, the locals think you're nuts for wanting to take pictures of every cow that you see. But there are cows - everywhere!!!

I'll post a little later today about food, glorious food - but it's time to hit the shower, explore the hotel a little and see if I can get my room switched to one with a balcony.

More Pics

A post will follow in the morning. Tonight it's Ambien and a hope for 8 hours of sleep. My only complaint (which is pretty minor) is the jet lag, I haven't slept for more than 5 hours each night. It's not debilitating, but it's noticeable. No plans for tomorrow, so I'm going to sleep as much as possible.

http://s69.photobucket.com/albums/i60/mattimoosh/India%202010%20-%20Mysore/

I'm rich biatch!

Have you ever withdrawn 10,000 from an ATM? It's nerve racking. Lammie is holding 10,000 INR. 10,000!!!! I've checked the exchange rate four times since the transaction because it's made me so nervous... and it's true. I just took out approximately $220USD. Phew!

Q & A Time!

Q: How's the food?

A: Excellent. Yes, it's spicy, but it's delish!

Q: No, seriously - how's the food?

A: Really, I'm eating nothing but Indian food. Yes, I've stayed away from the pickled things, I already know I don't like the taste (tastes like pickled ass - just ask Rosehawk!). I'm also avoiding lamb - I've had a lamb allergy/reaction since I was a baby. I wanted to test the theory that you can grow out of allergies, but I didn't think of it until a few days before I left - and I don't want to try it when I'm not sure I can get to a decent medical facility, so I'm abstaining. Which is a shame, because it smells yummy. They do have other types of food - our hotel serves Indian, Lebanese, and Italian. I've tried the Lebanese food, and I'm a big fan. Warm beet salad is one of my new favorites. I have not tried the Italian...because it would feel like I'm cheating if I travel all this way to eat Pagliacci's. I did notice that they have a Domino's in the city, as well as Baskin Robbins. I may break down and violate my policy of only Indian food for a little ice cream.

Q: Are you drinking the water?

A: Nope. Well, I've forgotten twice already - drank tap water at work and brushed my teeth this morning in the tap water. There's a good chance I'll wind up with some form of stomach issue before the trip is through.

Q: Do they have bathroom facilities?

A: Yes, but they are different. There's a bidet in the hotel room, and the bathroom at work had a removable shower head on the wall - at seat height. I'm not sure what that's all about, but I suspect it serves the same purpose as the bidet.

Q: Do you have malaria yet?

A: Not yet, but I'm being eaten alive by mosquitos. Yes, I have the special spray for my clothes. Yes, I'm using tons of repellant with DEET. Baron and I will probably never have children at the rate I'm using DEET, but I can't seem to stop the bugs. And yes, I'm taking the Maladrone, but it doesn't necessarily prevent Malaria, just mostly.

Q: Are you using the hand sanitizer I gave you for Christmas?

A: Yes Auntie, I'm using tons of it.

Q: How does it feel to be a cultural minority?

A: Very odd. I feel grossly large and like an ugly American. The majority of the Indian women are very petite, and beautifully dressed in rich jewel tones, with lots of bling. I left my jewelry at home for fear of losing it. International travel is not for those with self-esteem issues!

Q: Back to the food - really? It's okay?

A: Yup, it's still really good. There's rice with everything, generally a very mild Basmati. There's flat bread with everything. Of course there are a lot of curries, but the spiciest seem to be the vegetarian meals - and I've been eating those too. Our hosts have been ordering relatively mild spices for our meals, but there is still a fair amount of spice/heat. It's completely worth any potential tummy issues to see how pleased they are when you're adventurous and try a little of everything. I may be the only person I know who goes to a developing nation and gains 10lbs eating only local cuisine. Please see the previous question, it's not helping my self-esteem issues :)

Big tourist day today, so hopefully I will have many stories to tell when I get back.

More Pics from India

Having a hard time loading the pics, but this should get you to them

http://s69.photobucket.com/albums/i60/mattimoosh/India%202010/

I'm in India!!

And the room is beautiful. Seriously beautiful. And they left me a towel elephant strewn with rose petals. Sigh. I could get used to living like this.

So could Lammie...

Day 2 - the brief rundown...

- Woke up at 4:30. Jet lag sucks.
- But it was not in vain, can anyone say "Room Service at a 4 star hotel"??? Yea!
- After a leisurely breakfast of a full fruit platter (papaya, guava, pinapple, strawberries, coffee, fresh squeezed orange juice, wheatberry toast, egg white omelette with tomato headed off to work
- Wow. Traffic in Bangalore is ridonculous. Thank gawd we have a driver and I can close my eyes in the backseat - the 15 km trip takes between 1 - 1 1/2 hours.
- The offshore team is incredibly warm and hospitable, we met for approx 5 hours setting up our work stations, meeting the team, chatting.
- Lunch! Yup, I'm eating only Indian food while I'm here. Not going half way around the world to eat McDonald's! Good thing I like spicy food...
- Oops. I accidentally drank tap water. They put it out with the lunch. It's 8 hours and no ill effects as of yet. Living life on the edge my first full day in a foreign country.
- Worked for another 7 hours. The offshore team are workaholics! Actually, the atmosphere is completely different. The work is longer but slower paced - they work incredibly long hours - no one leaves before 6, and they usually work until 8, but there isn't a real sense of urgency. That's probably been the biggest culture shock, no one is ranting or raving, just steadily plugging away at work.
- 8pm - another harrowing commute through Bangalore. Interesting side note - I can't figure out the use of car horns. They are constantly blaring, it's almost like punctuation... but no one is yelling at each other. It's a very polite impatience, almost like using the horn to say "Excuse me, I'd just like to let everyone know my vehicle is here and I'm traveling. Thank you and have a good day". But they do it every minute or two.
- Got back to the hotel a little before 9pm. No dinner tonight, just this delightful treat that was left in my room.

Okay, I'm off for a cup of tea and some sleep. Hopefully I'll post more details in the morning! I have many stories, but I'm too tired to think straight.