Sunday, November 20, 2011

But I want an oompa loompa now!!!

Having one of those Veruca Salt weeks - I want it all, and I want it now!!!!

Work has been tough. I took a new position 6 months ago, and I'm still not comfortable with it. I'm not the "best" at anything. There are 3 of us doing the same job - one is better than me technically, and the other is better with the business acumen. I'm good at both... but I'm not the best at either. I can't stop beating myself up for every little mis-step. I know once I know my stuff, and get up to speed, I'll be the most well-rounded... but for now I just feel not quite good enough. Had major problems with a work project this week, and I'm drained. It doesn't help when the boss says "you're the best at documentation" - instead of making me feel good about the clarity of my communications... it makes me feel like I'm the secretary of my counterparts. I know it's not meant that way, but my confidence is shot.

And of course, working 70+ hours means I haven't made it to the gym in 6 days. Depressing. It's another case of I want it, and I want it now. The changes just don't seem to be coming fast enough. In my head, I know I've lost 25 lbs this year... but I look in the mirror and I still see someone who is obese.

Ugh. That's all I've got.. ugh. Okay ladies, help me out... how do you drive home "patience" and change your perception of things when you know you aren't quite seeing the word as it is, but you're own skewed view?

1 comment:

Rosehawk72 said...

Oh how I wish I could help! But I've been having the same thoughts myself. I've been so overweight my whole life, but still I expect it to just melt away. Just flex your arm and leg muscles and remember how far you've come. Linda Hamilton, watch out!